Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Happy New Year

Hello, empty space out there...

2006 is here, and I wish you all a Happy New Year. May all your wishes come true.
Strangely, I have been feeling rather empty recently... I'm not sure whether it's the end of a short vacation, the lousy foggy weather, or the impending big birthday that's making me feeling a bit lonely and dismotivated from everything. I just don't feel excited about anything, opting to stay home and just isolate myself from the others. The thing is, I've felt this way before. And the last time this happened was around March last year, I think. I commented that this sort of feeling is a seasonal thing, but clearly the seasons are not colliding with the 365-day calendar. Maybe I run on another schedule? I shall fully document this phenomenon and invent a "Mak Calendar" to finally leave a useful mark on Earth for myself.

I must've sent out more than 30 Christmas greetings this year, and the most looked forward to reply wasn't received. Did I make it unpleasant for them to reply? Was I too harsh? All I said was that I am longing for my old days, had gotten used to being spoiled, and knowing that he's doing so without me. Sounds awful?

Whatever.

Baby boy is back home now, and I have yet to feel very attached to him. Maybe it's because I haven't spent much time with him yet. But I honestly wish him all the best and will treat him as my little treasure too. I love kids and wish I could have my own.

I need to start committing myself. I just lack that completely, and in the long-run it'd be a problem, I know it.

Later.
M.