Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind


It's one of my favourite movies. I love it's wackiness, I love Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey, I love the suggestion of loving the same person the 2nd time around, and I love the open-ended ending. So when you are really given a second chance, would you take a go at it again?

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Recently, on 3 separate occasions, this film was presented to me once again. A dear friend wrote me a note referring to this film, which led me to watch the film again last week, and a couple of days ago another dear friend emailed me and told me that she'd just watched the movie again and that prompted her to write me.

Erasing a memory that hurts so badly... for the time-being... is a quick fix. Oh how we want to get pass the sadness, how we want to emerge from rock bottom, how we always reminisce happy times, and how we cannot make a connection to reality...

The film suggests that despite having your memory erased, you still end up falling in love with the same person over and over again. Do we really learn from our so-called "mistakes"? And even knowing that it hadn't worked before, Joel and Clementine still decide to try again. Is that just being a hopeless romantic, or is that a belief that love is always there but it's timing and events that alter the outcome? So, love alone, really is not enough to sustain a relationship? But that's not even the point of the movie... because it's the process that we see Joel and Clem enjoy, when they really "live" the relationship, that they both want to go back and experience it, remember it. Another movie (which I also like) shares a similar theme, Adam Sandler's 2006 flick "Click".

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Just did a simple search online, and this movie has some pretty good taglines:

I already forget how I used to feel about you.
Our memories makes us who we are. You can't change the past.
Would you erase me?
This Spring, clear your mind
I'm fine without you.
Do I know you?
You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story.
Replace My Memory
A comedy for anyone with a past they'd rather forget.

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I especially like the 3rd to last one...

"You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story."

Some people erase someone by running away, others do so by having a rebound, some resort to different substances, etc. I wonder, can you remember and forget at the same time? The reason I said this is because some say,

"oh you just need to forget about it and move on"

But then some say,

"Remember the good times, learn from it, treasure the memories"

You have to know one thing, that moving on is not that easy.
It's not like you're leaving everything behind and moving somewhere else; you're still in the same space breathing the same air going to the same places. Everything stays the same and the difference is tiny, miniscule. It doesn't even make a difference to ANYBODY else in this World but you, and you alone. That's why you feel so alone. You feel like you're in this perpetual Black Hole.

But we all crawl back from this Black Hole... dunno how (oh would somebody please tell me), but we all eventually make it, because the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is our will to love, our will to fall in love.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

無題

有時d歌詞真係寫得好到肉...



最好 有生一日都愛下去
但誰人 能將戀愛當做終生興趣
生活 其實旨在找到個伴侶
面對現實 熱戀很快變長流細水

可惜我 不智或僥倖
對火花天生敏感
不過 兩隻手拉的太緊
愛到過了界那對愛人
同時亦最易變成一對敵人

*合︰也許相愛很難
就難在其實雙方各有各寄望 怎麼辦
要單戀都難 受太大的禮會
內疚卻也無力歸還
也許不愛不難 但如未成佛升仙
也會怕愛情前途黯淡
愛不愛都難
未快樂先有責任給予對方面露歡顏

#得到浪漫 又要有空間
得到定局 卻怕去到終站
然後付出多得到少不介意豁達
又擔心有人看不過眼

合︰可惜我 不智或僥倖
對火花天生敏感
不過 兩隻手拉的太緊
愛到過了界那對愛人
同時亦最易變成一對敵人

重唱 *,#

合︰無論熱戀中失戀中都永遠記住第一戒
別要張開雙眼

Monday, December 03, 2007

When are you a quitter, and when are you a realist?

Funny...

I had some free time this weekend, and watched some TV at home.... (it's something I don't do much of anymore, but once in a while is fun)


There was America's Next Top Model, and then there was Project Runway. I am NOT the fashion kind, AT ALL, but it's still fun watching these so-called "reality" series.


In this week's episode of ANTM, this gal Ebony decided that she's had enough. Despite her cool looks, slender and tall build, and very bitchy attitude, she decided that modeling is NOT for her. That is after begging Tyra Banks (Exec Producer) to pick her in her audition tape, and doing quite well in previous photo shoots. When she volunteered to be "voted out", Tyra said she "the most unattractive thing in the world is a quitter" (Yes, I just checked it from YouTube to verify), and so Ebony goes.

Of course I'm not providing commentary on this, but it just got me thinking... when is quitting OK because you realize that it's just not gonna work however hard you try? Now of course you can say, for work situations, you just try for a little while longer and in the meantime, look for something better. Which I agree. But what if this is about relationships? You can't do that absolutely!

Can you rationally make a decision that no, it's not gonna work, and break it off? And we all say, oh of course, why waste each others' time? But if you think carefully, wouldn't you try your best to see if it could work because there's already so much invested? Especially when apparently both sides are still into each other?
.......................
The property market has been on a rapid upswing for the last couple of months. But as most other investment tools, stocks, bonds, funds, etc., those so-called "experts" always tell us, we should set a target when to sell and when to cut losses. Does it apply to relationships too? hmmm.... hmmmmm.... hmmm... P-r-o-b-a-b-l-y...

Funny how we resort to songs we love for guidance. Then I think, what do those lyricists know? What make their lyrics a bible to love? Doesn't it belittle relationships because it's just a whole bunch of sappy words that rhyme? That was a joke. :) but honestly, what make these classic love songs reference materials of how we should handle relationships? Isn't that the beauty of human interactions, because everyone is different, so every relationship is different? But it seems not! Because the same issues always seem to come up. Stories you hear from friends, ones that you experience yourself. It is true, it's those sappy love songs on "Repeat" mode.

Here's one of those songs: "At the Brink of Love and Pain" by Faye Wong <愛與痛的邊緣>



A song I was listening to when I worked 'till 4am last week: "Getting Off By Mistake" by Sammi Cheng <落錯車>(that's a funny translation, eh? haha)



One of the newer Sandy favourites of mine: "Poor Communication" <詞不達意>



What we should aim to become? Sandy's "Goodbye Sadness" <再見悲哀>


再見悲哀 - 林憶蓮
作曲:Eric Kwok
填詞:林夕
編曲:Eric Kwok/Ted Lo
監製:Eric Kwok

*再見悲哀因我不再計較任何結果
 甚麼都可以坦蕩未在乎誰是錯
 我兩眼合上失去甚麼 是與非也掠過
 別固執到問一切為何

 再見傷感因我不易被淚流留住我
 甚麼的境界都愛自自然地渡過
 去到最尾就如與物忘我 回復身心最初
 面對心鏡內一片平和
 鳥聲瞬間閃過 (這麼最好不過)*

除了心 只有心 可以解心鎖
煩惱多 因我要得多
微似砂 輕似煙 怎會有風波
有惆悵 跌入了恆河

情路太彎 過就過 當是個經過
感動的愛 當做一次砌磋
沿途上遇上甚麼 都欣賞過
投入時便快樂一起過

REPEAT*

傻也好 痴也好 因你記得多
忘記的 比你記的多

懷念最好 我便會 繼續愛惜我
花瓣飄過 美在不顧結果
人存活在世就似沙粒飛過
誰又曾為了誰褒貶過

REPEAT*

這麼最好不過 全是一種經過