Thursday, January 17, 2008

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind


It's one of my favourite movies. I love it's wackiness, I love Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey, I love the suggestion of loving the same person the 2nd time around, and I love the open-ended ending. So when you are really given a second chance, would you take a go at it again?

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Recently, on 3 separate occasions, this film was presented to me once again. A dear friend wrote me a note referring to this film, which led me to watch the film again last week, and a couple of days ago another dear friend emailed me and told me that she'd just watched the movie again and that prompted her to write me.

Erasing a memory that hurts so badly... for the time-being... is a quick fix. Oh how we want to get pass the sadness, how we want to emerge from rock bottom, how we always reminisce happy times, and how we cannot make a connection to reality...

The film suggests that despite having your memory erased, you still end up falling in love with the same person over and over again. Do we really learn from our so-called "mistakes"? And even knowing that it hadn't worked before, Joel and Clementine still decide to try again. Is that just being a hopeless romantic, or is that a belief that love is always there but it's timing and events that alter the outcome? So, love alone, really is not enough to sustain a relationship? But that's not even the point of the movie... because it's the process that we see Joel and Clem enjoy, when they really "live" the relationship, that they both want to go back and experience it, remember it. Another movie (which I also like) shares a similar theme, Adam Sandler's 2006 flick "Click".

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Just did a simple search online, and this movie has some pretty good taglines:

I already forget how I used to feel about you.
Our memories makes us who we are. You can't change the past.
Would you erase me?
This Spring, clear your mind
I'm fine without you.
Do I know you?
You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story.
Replace My Memory
A comedy for anyone with a past they'd rather forget.

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I especially like the 3rd to last one...

"You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story."

Some people erase someone by running away, others do so by having a rebound, some resort to different substances, etc. I wonder, can you remember and forget at the same time? The reason I said this is because some say,

"oh you just need to forget about it and move on"

But then some say,

"Remember the good times, learn from it, treasure the memories"

You have to know one thing, that moving on is not that easy.
It's not like you're leaving everything behind and moving somewhere else; you're still in the same space breathing the same air going to the same places. Everything stays the same and the difference is tiny, miniscule. It doesn't even make a difference to ANYBODY else in this World but you, and you alone. That's why you feel so alone. You feel like you're in this perpetual Black Hole.

But we all crawl back from this Black Hole... dunno how (oh would somebody please tell me), but we all eventually make it, because the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is our will to love, our will to fall in love.

5 comments:

Wordy said...

"You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story."

This suggests to me that you cannot erase any memory of your own accord. So why bother? You'll be moving on when you are ready.

I always recalled the song 分身術 when I was in the state of "still in the same space breathing the same air going to the same places." What I did to "escape" back then was crazy if you have read a bit of my 2004 and 2006 Hokkaido travelogues (sigh and laugh). I can be way more sentimental than you do and I made it. Don't sorry.

Spend some time with your family and bring yourself a little more distraction. Life goes on and still can be beautiful. Get yourself prepared for a new and lovely chapter.

Fun said...

喂喂.. 我諗起4年前既我呀.. 個陣俾你個“frd”搞到想死,而家諗返又過眼雲煙.. 你當時都有眼睇啦....

撐住,好快過啦其實~ :)

CH Mak said...

Wordy: While I know I won't DIE, but the act of picking up myself and moving on is just oh-so painful. Maybe I should browse through your Travelogues to... make myself feel better? haha.

Distraction is only there to delay and suppress emotions/sadness. But then I know we can't dwell on things like that.

This sadness comes from a deeper loss and emptiness, that... you feel part of yourself is ripped open, like an open-heart surgery with anesthesia... "Doctor, I need some medicine"

Fun: Thanks for your note again. It's true what I said on MSN... your simple notes are godsent.

Wordy said...

Doctor does not have the medicine you want, my friend :)

I won't ask you to stay strong because you do not need that. Be a little more selfish and treat yourself kind. You will have some new insight into your inner-self then. You can't often be a tough-front-soft-inside guy, after all :)

Honestly, I am still haunted in some sense. And we both know we can just live with that. Still going to Japan with buddies? Take up some planning work and enjoy the trip! I spent 20 minutes on Wed to book myself a ticket to Sanyo in Apr. I just need to keep myself busy and moving on. And I can also bring myself a good life whenever I want to. Think about that :)

Anonymous said...

You write very well.