Happiness is...

- Having a meal when food is great, service is efficient, and being with a friend (former colleagues even!) you feel completely comfortable with and could talk about just almost everying;
- Having friends that care about you and friends you care about;
- Living a life in which you don't have to worry alot and could spend money reasonably (haha, should work hard on that);
- Having relatives around you whom still remember your birthday and what you exactly do for work;
- Being able to finally put the past behind and actually having something to look forward to; and
- LIVING! We should be thankful for being alive!
Possibilities are endless, and we should pick ourselves up, be positive and just put ourselves out there and be happy to be surrounded by friends, loved by family, and of course, when we are lucky, settling down with somebody special. :) Am I happy? I am doing ok ge... ;D

The biggest variety show of all: The Oscars?

Used to be such a big event for me, but how could that be when I'm in Hong Kong, where some of the lesser-known nominated pictures aren't even released yet? Letters from Iwo-Jima, Notes on a Scadal, The Queen, etc. We can't really fully appreciate the calibre of the nominations without seeing the whole category, right? That's why the Oscar show has become just a another TV night for me these years, seeing the stars, listening to Best Original Songs, jokes from the host, and useless segments like that of the Hollywood Special Sound Effects Choirs (?), or Will Ferrel and Jack Black doing a completely incoherent skit? I remember days when I had to leave work early to catch the start of the shows (show starts at 5pm in California). In my college days, I volunteered at the biggest Oscar Party in San Francisco (Academy of Friends) which has grown to an institution in itself, raising funds every year benefitting a whole bunch of local AIDS-related organizations. Man, those nights were fun.
Back to this year's show... Memorable moments for me are heartfelt statements and little gestures not quite scripted purposefully (or ones that are just WRONG).

Did you catch:
1. Helen Mirren's tribute to QEII?
2. The Kiss between Melissa Etheridge and her wife?
3. Merryl Streep's cold stare at Anne Hathaway "reprising" their roles in "The Devil Wears Prada"?
4. Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson belling out (borderline screaming) with their boobs almost falling out of their gowns?

5. The BIG MISTAKE of saying "The Departed" was adapted from a JAPANESE movie during the announcement of the "Best Adapted Screenplay" win?
Anyway, the show was good, and when you thought Dreamgirls had a sure-win for Best Original Song, Melissa Etheridge delivered a delicious performance and a very meaningful message in her "I Need to Wake Up" win for "The Inconvenient Truth". How great was THAT?!

Friends, how many do we need?

Not many, but we certainly need to have a few.
We all operate differently. Some (like me) like to meet with friends regularly; frequent contacts are important, as I need to feel I am in personal "touch" with my friends. I need to see, talk, chat, and feel that my friends and I are still close to each other, be it physically, or emotionally. I need to know their physical well-being; losing that physical closeness would easily lead to distance and miscommunication, I've always felt. But of course that's not to say that I can ONLY maintain a relationship if the person is nearby. I have friends in the US, Malaysia, the Philippines; with all of whom I am still feel very close. But that's a different sort of friendship altogether, I guess. But should it be possible, I really would like to see my friends often. It almost makes me feel that my existence counts somewhat. But does that mean my existence could only defined by my friends? That I am not solid/tangible enough a being worthy of existing? No, it doesn't mean that.
I think it just it feels good when your friends think of you when they're in need... whether to help resolve problems or just hanging out, it's nice to be thought of, no?

Attachment to material things?

5 and a half years later, I have finally gotten rid of my "wife", whom brought me joy, speed, numerous tickets, my favorite music banging the windows and moonroof, and rides through the country side, to beaches on the Southside, fun times with friends, and occasional steamy times in the backseats... haha, my mind is running wild again.

But honestly, having a car in HK is a bit of a drag.  The traffic, the parking headaches, occasional dings here and there, expensive insurance, lack of street parking, etc.  Having a car is 80% of the time more frustrating than having one.  But those 20% of the times, when you can just get buckled in, turn on your favorite music, and get out of the city core within 30 min is just a luxury that is simply priceless.

Well, I read somewhere that I should embrace change, and change is good for me this year.  So, after getting ready to sell my beloved car for 2 years already, I finally did it last weekend, and it was easier than I thought, maybe it's because I've been ready for 2 years already.

I have always thought that I'm attached to material things... car, couch, bed, phone, etc.  But when it comes to doing so, I just disregard/ignore all the so-called "attachment" I had, and just get rid of them.  A dear friend of mine said Aquarius are 決絕(definitive/clear-cut/ultimate), and I guess it's true.  And of course this Sandy Lam song comes to mind when it comes to being 決絕 (from her 1987 self-titled release).  So, was she singing about bad Aquarius lovers in the past?

(Oh this is another useless entry...)

決絕 - 林憶蓮

歌手：林憶蓮 | 作曲：馮鏡輝
填詞：潘源良 | 編曲：鮑比達

何必多說　來為我拼命解釋愛為何終結
來為你增加心中決絕
其實這現已不必　不必

＊何必假設　情是永遠像花朵是有朝枯竭
　誰若勉強繼續只得苦澀
　情在變時候到了必須解決

　愛似個死結　我每日為誰活
　又終被誰擺脫
　請不必多說　你既決定離別
　聲聲解釋猶如刀切
　請不必多說　你已獨自將舊情處決＊

REPEAT＊

冷冷地處決

Che Kung Temple

It was my first time ever, but I went to Che Kung Temple on the Third Day of the Chinese New Year. We got there rather late, at 5pm, but still crowded with hundreds of people. But at least there was no wait outside. So we got the incense, and getting them lit was an experience in itself. Can you imagine poking around with those incense sticks among 20 others, while you have to be mindful about having your eye/arms/body poked at by these hot burning sticks? And the smoke was absolutely blinding! That's the effort you have to pay for an honest and accurate fortune-telling, I guess?
But we made it into the praying hall in one piece, without MAJOR burns. And we proceeded with "shaking of the sticks". Asked 3 questions: career, well-being, romance. I got "Good", "Medium", and "Medium", which is good, I guess. On romance, Che Kung told me that I should not be "greedy" and be wild and "explore" other opportunities. Now, of course we all know that is something we should not do, and in fact, most "scriptures" from these sticks are universal truths, aren't they? If so, then why do we still go to Wong Tai Sin, Che Kung, Po Lin, etc. to get our so-called "fortune" told? Wouldn't it be more juicy, if they tell us "Your partner will cheat on you", or "your boss will give you a raise", or "You will win the lottery"? haha. Maybe those are wishes, and these are practicalities.
Do you know, that Che Kung was said to have accompanied the last emperor of the Sung Dynasty to Hong Kong and protected the young emperor, but died on the jouney. It was also said that everywhere he had been was freed of plagues, which was one of the legends why this Che Kung Temple was erected in Shatin. This temple ranked alongside Sheung Wan's Man Mo Temple, "Big Tin Hau Temple", and Wong Tai Sin Temple as Hong Kong's 4 Big Temples. In addition to asking for your fortune be told, you can also bang the drum, and spin the "Windmill", to change your luck. We did all that, but ended up standing in line for freaking 2 hours for a detail explanation on the "sticks". CRAZY.
For a CNY that was meant to be spent overseas, this must have turned out to be the most "celebrated" CNY ever for me. ;)

I am an idiot

Kung Hei Fat Choi everybody.
Just when I thought I tried my best to fulfill my role, not making any major mistakes, booom, I did the stupidest thing so far, and not only was it a mistake, it also brought a lot of uncertainty and unnecessary complications to an otherwise wonderful start of 2007 and the Year of the Pig. I am truly sorry, and nothing hurts more than disappointing your loved one, and for that, I should slap myself 1 million times. =....(
I need to be conscious of my actions, and the implications for parties involved, because it's no longer a single person's affair. It was indeed a lesson learnt, of my poor behaviours (slap slap slap) and also of how we should handle our relationships with delicate care. But it is also mistakes like these make you realize how special this relationship has become. Treasure it, IDIOT.

Sandy and Me (15/2/07)

I'm certainly among friends that are as "die-hard" as I am when it comes to being a Sandy Lam fan. Below are some of my 1st with Sandy:
1st memory: 灰色performance at 1987 Jade Solid Gold Awards
Always thought she was cool, but more like a Japanese cover-version singer who didn't sing too well. And what's up with her gigs with Blue Jeans? Her performance was not very good, and in fact I thought she certainly needed more live practice.
1st album: Dynamic Reaction (1990/EP), Wildflower (1991)
My cousin Mary had a big influence on my childhood music selection. It's because of her that I like Alan Tam instead of Leslie Cheung. And the popularity of Sandy with school girls also got me the EP in 1990. I thought it was cool dance music, and she's definitely more "hip" than others bubble gum pop songstress. As I moved to the US in 1990, I carried with me Sandy's image as the premier female singer in HK. She was simply HOT.
I was given "Wildflower" as a bday gift from my bro. Little did he know how much Sandy would mean to me in later years. But this album is the quintessential milestone in HK pop. Always cited as one of the best albums in 1990s, even in Cantonese pop. The flower theme, her teaming up with talents from Taiwan and Singapore, use of Chinese instruments, eye-popping MTVs, the non-main-stream plugs, and even under her OWN production company. She had something else in mind, and it was a risky move, and depending on whom you ask, it either cost her the coveted Most Popular Female Singer Award, or launched her into something entirely a league of her own. Even when I listen to "Wildflower" nowadays the songs are not a bit outdated, which is very rare in local offerings.

1st concert: 1993 天地野花情撼紅舘

Had to come back and see it in person, and 10 concerts in one go proved to be a bit too much for the box office. But nonetheless, Sandy blossomed into an on-stage diva, every move, every note she sang was with confidence and an air of flair, that not many singers possess. This is even more evident in the 1996 and 2002 concerts.

1st overseas concert: 2002 上海演唱會

An 80,000-seat outdoor venue, how can you beat that? It rained, we danced, the place was a bit too big, and the audience was a bit subdued.

Most memorable concert: 1996憶蓮盛放音樂會, last show (8 Sept 1996)

Typhoon Number 8 hoisted, and practically full-house and unstoppable dancing. Was that really Hong Kong? Nothing ever come close to the euphoric atmosphere on this very night. Or I guess that was the start of having "Disco" encores in HK concerts.

Closest encounter: Someday in 2006, lift lobby and inside a lift in my office building.
I couldn't believe it but Sandy was in the same lift with me and stood right behind me. I was..... frozen. Haha. As a self-respecting fan and completely respecting her privacy, I wouldn't dare to say anything among a "lift-ful" of people. But gosh, that was exhilarating. :)
(I want to thank Terence of http://www.sandyandme.com/ for the source of the above graphics, and also being my trusted source of Sandy news. It was godsent. Sorry to have stolen the webpage's title :))

Forgive or Forget (2/13/07)

When you suddenly realize that you had done something years ago and somebody still holds a grudge against you, what do you do? Do you ask for forgiveness, or do you just carry on and leave the past behind?
2 days ago I was reminded of something stupid I did years ago, and the "reminder" (my friend) suggested that I owe that person an apology. My first reaction... why? Thinking back, my reaction was just, and I still believe to this day, that even thought my actions were a bit crazy, it wasn't like I was being crazy for no reason, it was almost provoked, and it was for my self-preservation, and I was protecting my own turf.
But then, after all these years, I had actually forgotten the episode, because the people involved have all moved on, to different locales and with different new people (gosh it's been 7 years already). What I had forgotten though, might stay vivid on somebody's mind, because maybe I just wiped out everything relating to those times, or maybe this person was so hurt or offended, that to this day, there's still a tag attached to me, in his mind.
If you ask me, being the self-centered and self-righteous self I am sometimes, I'd say... oh forget it, it's not like I'd ever run into him again. But then, why do we need another enemy in this world? Especially when the animosity arose from something that means nothing anymore (at least to me)? Is a formal apology required? I think not. But, I did tell my friend that should my name ever come up in their conversations again, tell that person I feel bad about what I did years ago. And truthfully, I do. If we can focus on the big picture, little things like that should not have agitated me so much that warranted such a reaction. But that's the beauty of youth, of being young; we do stupid things, and with time, we learn from them and become a better person. No, this is not BS, this is how we grow, isn't it?

CNY, when you've passed 30 (2/12/07)

Last year, after all the gatherings and family obligations were done with, I told my Dad that it would be my last CNY in Hong Kong. From then on I'd be traveling every year to "escape" the onslaught of questions and being the subject to poke fun at. And let me tell you, it's not fun when everybody starts asking the same questions and also telling you how embarassing it is for a 30-year old to get Lai-sees.
CNY used a be fun. The endless New Year cakes, sweet soups, big feasts, fireworks, afternoon movies, games with other kids in the neighbourhood, video games, new clothes, red packets, huge gatherings, mah-jong... why has it all become just a big chore?
Is it time that I should take a pass on all these CNY Obligations, and do my own things with friends, or just have a quiet holiday? But isn't the purpose of CNY being with the family and celebrating good health and togetherness?
(Do you see the Aquarius pattern of self-contradicting arguments?)
I still enjoy the fireworks, but I realize none of my friends would go with me anymore... so actually I haven't seen it in person since 2004. There is something I like about fireworks... thousands of people, waiting around for hours. Marvelling at the same colourful sparkles, oooh-ing and aaah-ing at the same time. Kids' screams, families being with each other, enjoying the city and the loud booms echoing among the curtain walls of skyscrapers. You look around, if lucky enough, with friends surrounding you, hoping for greater and better things for the new year, that it'd turn out as bright and colourful as the fireworks. It is a good atmosphere, and you can never feel that on TV. (well, it could also feel rather depressing when you are there alone and NOT with any friends beside you... so don't do that, I'm speaking from experience)
So what do guys passed 30 do in CNY? What about a BBQ gathering with other 30+ y.o. friends?

Charm (2/11/07)

Saw this movie yesterday called "The World's Fastest Indian" (2005) with Sir Anthony Hopkins. It's basically about this old guy Burt Munro from New Zealand (true story), whose life-long dream was to race his "Indian" (a small army motorcycle that he modified himself in over 20 years, turning it into a SUPER fast racing bike) in Utah's Bonneville track. In the 2-hour movie we witness Burt's determination and his never-ending obstacle-filled trip from Down Under, through Los Angeles and then onward to the Bonneville Salt Flats. Not so much a movie worth seeing, it's just a simple story about a man with determination and a clear goal all his life. What is interesting about this little-known historical figure (who broke the land-speed record multiple times), is that through his first trip to the USA, he managed to turn adversaries into allies time and time again. He seemed to touch people with his genuine and unwavered goal to reach Bonneville. Was he just lucky to return home in one piece? Or is that just how genuinely good people get respected and supported along the way where foes become friends and regular on-lookers become partners in crime?
It's funny, charming people, I mean... I don't see much of them in Hong Kong. I don't mean "phony" charm to get us into the hippest clubs or numbers for the hottest dude/chick... I mean genuine down-to-earth charm that makes everybody feel comfortable and at ease. Some HK folks I've met are too pretentious, shrewed, calculated, or maybe they're just shy, or cool, that their warmth or personality doesn't really come through (of course I wouldn't say that I'm not like that sometime). Is it because we have something to protect, that's why we don't reach out and touch others? Fearing they'll see the inner deepest parts of our soul? What I've learned, is that a simple gesture could make things alot simpler, and break down some of the frozen walls around us. As Burt Munro showed us (well, at least what the film makers did), a little charm could get us to ends of the world with friends cheering along your sides.

Somebody (2/8/07)

Our "God of Songs" has sung many lovely ballads over his 20+ year career, but this one has always stood out as my all-time favorite. It doesn't talk about moments of passion, or the sparkles that fly, or the chemical reaction of dating. But instead, it talks about the simple life of having somebody behind you. supporting you, sharing the sorrows, experiencing life, and growing old together.
Is that what love is? Or what love should be?
有個人 - 張學友 Music: Eric Kwok / Lyrics: Chan Siu Kei
上個世紀　像已籌備然後這生分享趣味換了角色　換了場地都等待你
若要說出　甚麼是你談話思想都可細味明瞭內心　如同自己寫我人生　精彩傳記
＊同行共創造時勢運氣　相識一天算起 我敢擔起各樣危機　有背後人是你 同行共領會人世道理　假使一天不再飛 到公園中散步年紀 有結伴人是你〔有老伴仍是你〕
若到某天　尚可合照頭上多稀疏都美妙肥胖或者　眉毛漸少一切外表　都不重要同行共創造時勢運氣　相識一天算起我即使生氣及無理　有慰問人是你同行共領會人世道理　假使一天不再飛有新相識我便提起　有個內人是你重唱　＊
(Ok this is the end of relationship-related stuff for a while... isn't it getting a bit tired and boring?)

Why are we here? (2/7/07)

A. Why do we publish our blogs?
1. To let others know what's going on with us
2. To deliberately tell others what's going on with us
3. To delibertately tell a few specific people what's going on with us
4. To keep our thoughts somewhere so we could look back sometime later and be reminded of how clueless/stupid/naive we once were
5. Be reminded of how stupid/clueless/naive we are when we're young
6. Be reminded of how stupid/clueless/naive we are ALWAYS
B. Why are you reading my blog?
1. You are interested in me
2. You're just curious
3. You're just curious to see how I'm doing with my love/day-to-day life
4. You're just curious to see how I'm doing with my love life and wish that I'll fall flat on my face again
5. You want to see whether I'm done with my nonsense yet
6. You want to see what sort of stupid comments I will make again today/tomorrow/and beyond.

The lack of a reason not to continue seeing somebody? (posted 2/6/07)

When I heard it I thought it's a difficult concept...
You meet somebody, you start dating. How are those "REALLY SPECIAL" ones different from those that are just a 3-month trick? I mean, at the beginning of each one, you're hopeful, and you might even have the same tingly feeling that this might be "THE ONE." But then all of us know most would fall by the way side, and only a few would stand out. So, is this game about who can outlast others? Or are some people are "destined" to be your special someone?
The idea of ONE soulmate, or a few selected ones, is an alien concept to me, though I find it extremely romantic. I mean, who controls these things, if somebody on the other side of the world is really your destined one? Is it more an issue of belief and faith? Or is it that there are alot of eligible people out there, and it's just a matter of time when you find one that shares similar aspirations, hopes, outlook in life, etc. that they become a special someone? Are the two ideas in alignment, just explained differently?
Are there forces apart from just chance meetings/luck that dictate how the course of our romance would be? If I hadn't gone to the US in 1990, I wouldn't end up in San Francisco in 1994 and met the people whom shaped my youth. But that wouldn't mean that I wouldn't have met others that would shape me otherwise. Sure it was just a whole bunch of chance meetings turned well, but are they really that special? Maybe I would have met even MORE special people in Orange County? Or even Hong Kong?
What am I saying? I just don't know how to define what is special, because everything COULD be special. Would you know you're in something special, when you're in it? Or only after?

How do you "operate" a relationship? (posted 2/3/07)

In recent years the word "經營" (to operate/to run) a relationship has become a buzz word. How do we actually operate a relationship? Like a business? I think I mentioned this in a couple of posts before, but it IS sort of like how you make sure you are investing the right amount of effort/time into the relationship, making sure you are nurturing it, keeping it in good shape, etc. But can we calculate the PE ratio? Would returns be subject of external market forces? What about interest rates? And may I see last year's Year-end Report please? Clearly, these things don't necessarily apply to relationships, so how do we make an educated investment? Is this the ultimate game of investment? Or simply a gamble? But if we are to "operate/run" this relationship, then it's not just a matter of luck, right?
I guess that's why we just love being part of the game, because what's life without a bit of gamble, triumph, or loss? Just be hopeful, never take things for granted, and open your heart because you never know when the next game starts.
(honestly I think there should be a databse where everybody keeps an Annual Report for prospective investors)