When you suddenly realize that you had done something years ago and somebody still holds a grudge against you, what do you do? Do you ask for forgiveness, or do you just carry on and leave the past behind?
2 days ago I was reminded of something stupid I did years ago, and the "reminder" (my friend) suggested that I owe that person an apology. My first reaction... why? Thinking back, my reaction was just, and I still believe to this day, that even thought my actions were a bit crazy, it wasn't like I was being crazy for no reason, it was almost provoked, and it was for my self-preservation, and I was protecting my own turf.
But then, after all these years, I had actually forgotten the episode, because the people involved have all moved on, to different locales and with different new people (gosh it's been 7 years already). What I had forgotten though, might stay vivid on somebody's mind, because maybe I just wiped out everything relating to those times, or maybe this person was so hurt or offended, that to this day, there's still a tag attached to me, in his mind.
If you ask me, being the self-centered and self-righteous self I am sometimes, I'd say... oh forget it, it's not like I'd ever run into him again. But then, why do we need another enemy in this world? Especially when the animosity arose from something that means nothing anymore (at least to me)? Is a formal apology required? I think not. But, I did tell my friend that should my name ever come up in their conversations again, tell that person I feel bad about what I did years ago. And truthfully, I do. If we can focus on the big picture, little things like that should not have agitated me so much that warranted such a reaction. But that's the beauty of youth, of being young; we do stupid things, and with time, we learn from them and become a better person. No, this is not BS, this is how we grow, isn't it?
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